our first journey together

since this is a blog about travelling with our little girl we should start with our first, miraculous journey together.
i think i ought to record the story of percy's birth somewhere... here seems a likely place.
if birth stories don't interest you, or you think this will get too personal or too icky, skip it.

paul and i decided after some thought that we would like to have our baby at home. of course this decision was met with varying degrees of support to downright- "do you want to die?" derision. to the deriders i have nothing to say, you're too small to think about. to our supporters, it might have taken most of you a while to come 'round, but thanx.

after some searching around and interviewing three women we chose our midwife. (very few men in this role.) it was fantastic to have a midwife. no traipsing off to doctors, hospitals, obstretricians, health centres, whatever, etc. jan came to our home at times convenient to us. no waiting in boring rooms surrounded by sick people. no need to take time off work or out of the weekend. no 15 minute, "how are you?, yup, all's good, on yer way then." jan was with us for no less than two hours every visit, often longer, and spoke to us about all sorts of things. not just how my blood pressure was that day.
there was no reason not to have our baby at home. i was very healthy, had no particular risk indications and the pregnancy went relatively smoothly. i suffered some morning sickness which required paul to drive me to work for a couple of months, and a few lie downs on the lunch room sofa occasionally. i was disappointed i had to give up riding my push bike so soon tho. i rode the 50km sydney spring cycle in october which meant i would have been about 3 months preggers, with my good mate mark along to push me up the hills. that was quite funny, he literally put his hand on my arse and shoved me along once or twice! however soon after this, even the 10 minute spin to work caused me to feel nauseous. so my lovely bike has been in the shed ever since! boo hoo.

towards the end of the pregnancy jan told us that the baby was not lieing nicely with her spine along my tummy but sort of half turned with her spine aligned with my left hip. she was confident bubs would squirm around and be nicely lined up on the day. unfortunately this didn't happen and i think was a major contributor to the change of plans that eventuated.

on sunday 25th march 2007 i woke up about 10pm with a pain in my stomach. then i woke up again with the same pain. it finally occurred to me that this is probably a contraction! yes, i was a bit slow on the up take. i thought, wow, these are coming fast, like every five minutes! so i resolved to stay awake and time them. silly me- more like every half hour. i was dozing in between and not registering the passage of time. as the sun was rising i turned to paul and said we're having a baby today. gee, was i cocky!
all thru monday 26th march i had contractions at odd spacings. they were completely manageable. i generally just stopped doing whatever i was and closed my eyes and breathed slowly thru them. we walked up to our local shops before lunch to get some supplies. i was walking slowly but quite happy to be out in the sun. in the afternoon paul and i took a big walk around sydney park. i'm not sure when, but some time that day we'd bundled my mum, who was staying with us, off to my brothers. i only wanted paul and the midwife with me.
during our park walk paul phoned his best friend to tell him we were having a baby that day. he replied it was a great day to have a baby as it was his birthday too! paul had forgotten- oops.
after climbing to the top of the biggest hill in sydney park (those of you who know the park, know the hill i mean!) i figured that was enough.
at home i bundled up on the lounge and watched movies for the remainder of the afternoon. paul rearranged the furniture (small terrace house) and got the birth pool out. he collected towels and blankets and pots on the stove and whatever other fussing about he did. i was blissfully content not to pay attention. i had other things on my mind.
by bed time nothing much had changed. the contractions were irregular and still on the mild end of the scale.
again i woke up about 10pm. this time in quite a bit of pain. i asked, no told, paul to go sleep on the spare bed because i wanted all the room i could get to thrash about. so thrash about i did. nothing made me comfortable. in finally found some comfort sitting on the edge of the bed so that whenever a contraction came i could boost myself up with my hands and moan thru it. between contractions i had piled all the pillows up to my right and tried to rest leaning on these.
at 2am paul came back in saying he couldn't bear for me to be suffering alone. he could hear every sound i made. i was very happy to have him there.
my wrists were starting to give out from all the boosting up too. unfortunately standing didn't work, nor kneeling or all-fours, or much of anything!

we called jan i think at 5am, could have been 4am. she said she'd come over soon and that we should go ahead with getting water in the birth pool and perhaps i should try a hot shower.

(just a note here on how much having a baby can change your mind set. paul and i are what you might call nerds. we apply the scientific principle, we don't accept things unless they are properly argued or based on fact, we have a subscription to 'new scientist' magazine for pete's sake! however, instead of going the hospital, obstretrician, may-i-have-my-cesar-now, option, we chose to have a home, water, lotus birth attended by a midwife. how hippy is that?! p.s. a lotus birth is when the cord is left attached to the baby and placenta for it to dry and fall off naturally. this usually takes between 3 and 10 days, during which you've got to lug the placenta around with the baby.)

between calling jan and her arriving i'd slid into the birth pool. it was very nice to have that extra bouyancy and heat. however since about midnite i was experiencing a pain down the left side of my abdomen that was constant. i had no 'breather' between contractions. while a contraction was on that was the overwhelming feeling, when one was gone the left side pain was nearly as bad. it was this lack of time to collect myself and ride up the next contraction that left me so upset.
jan actually thought i was doing a good job. that was reassuring. so good in fact that she said she was going to go home again to have some breakfast and take the dog for a walk. this is part of her approach- very hands off if not needed. let the labouring woman and her support do what they need to do. i did ask her to check my dilation before she went. it is only if you request will jan do this. perhaps i shouldn't have asked... there was no dilation. all these hours for nothing! she said i was nearly completely effaced but no dilation. what a blow. how much more of this would be need to get me dilated?

unfortunately it was during jan's absence that things ramped up for me. i was alternating between the pool and the shower, meaning a walk up and down the stairs in between. paul rang jan to explain that i wasn't coping. she asked to speak to me and thru crying and screaming i said i couldn't do it any more. she said that i could and that she was on her way back.
before she arrived i had a complete break down in the shower- bellowing and crying and squirming and screaming and sobbing. poor paul had to witness the whole thing. i said to him i wanted an ambulance to take me to the hospital. i needed drugs.
paul explained later (much later!) that he was angry that jan was not there to help us at that time. he had been told that i was doing okay and transferring to the hospital was not necessary. on the other hand his soggy, naked, sobbing wife was begging for relief. he naturally chose to help me and be the one person i can always rely on, trust and turn to. what if he had refused to call an ambulance? how would i have felt about him and his care for me? as it is, these are academic questions and i don't have to answer them.

i was back in the pool when the ambulance arrived. i had great expectations of them bursting in the door armed with a foot long needle, sinking it in to me and the pain floating away.... sadly, not to be. i had to clamber out, but on my daggy blue dressing gown, slippers and waddle my own way out of the front door. there i was laid on the gurney and slid into the back of the ambulance. paul initially elected to drive our car to RPA, then asked to come with us. he was hoping to sit in the back with me, but was put in the front. frankly, i might not have noticed. there was no foot long needle, no pain relief, no comfort...!
oddly, one thing i did notice was the route we took to RPA. i adore erko where we live. i've spent a good amount of time wandering its streets. as i glanced out the ambulance window, hoping to distract myself, i recognised the tops of the buildings we were passing! i thought to myself- "this is the long way 'round!" aarrghhh!

and now percy is due to wake up; she'll be hungry. part two coming- the hospital.