the four day experiment first...
last week, and continuing from now on, percy will be attending day care, and i'll be working, four days a week. we have wednesdays at home together. i think percy is taking this change just fine. each day i've dropped her off she's sat down to her second breakfast and waved me away quite happily. i suppose i'm taking the change fine as well. ('course i'd rather be a lady of leisure but that scenario is highly unlikely.)
our three day experiment is more interesting. percy is staying three nites with her gran and grandad. without us. i drove her down on wednesday afternoon and they'll be bringing her home on saturday. it's very traumatic! for me. by all reports percy is doing fine.
i only stayed a half hour or so before having a big cuddle and kisses and saying good bye. the drive home seemed to flash past but once home i became morose, tired, depressed and lonely. really lonely. and also inert. i know that's an odd way to describe a person but that's how i felt- very inert. i lay on the bed and couldn't move. even when a bit of rain came over and was getting the dry washing wet i couldn't run out and get it in. this isn't like me- i hate repeating effort. it just doesn't seem right that there was no little head at the dining table, no clambering nakey-baby to play with after dinner, no wet chookie in the shower, and saddest of all; no tousled head popping up to say "hello" this morning. it feels all wrong.
i imagine many would say i should be rejoicing. having some baby-free time; time with no cries in the night, no tussles over eating, no debates about whether to put a nappy on again (or run about naked- she's very much the nudist), no 6am rousing from bed, no repeat readings of the same book... yes, perhaps i should be happy. i just miss her.
i really, really miss her.
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