zac's birthday party

our friends orion and daniel's little boy zac celebrated his first birthday today. we went for a morning tea party at his house in rozelle. what an affair! i'm glad no-one expects big productions from me- at least i don't think they do. there is simply no way on earth i could "keep up with the jones's" in the birthday party stakes. despite percy being a guest she came away with little sandwiches cut in star, heart and flower shapes, a balloon, a bottle of bubble blowing mixture, a big bag of fruit and a box of baby carrots to plant at home. phew! it wasn't just percy, every kid, of which i estimate there would have been at least a dozen, got this jackpot of goodies. plus there was lots of food, balloons, a ball pit and slide, fresh fruit juice, real coffee and lines of cupcakes. perhaps percy will make up for my lackadasical efforts when she's twenty and old enough to organise her own parties.
while a good part of not organising massive affairs is my complete aversion to effort of most sorts, a part of it also rests with knowing full well that i'd never get it right with all members of our family so why try? without doubt i would leave out, offend, forget, tread on the toes of, dismiss or otherwise cause affront to someone. i'm not making this up; i've learnt from bitter experience.
take for instance the one time in all our lifetimes that my very small but widely spread family happen to be or very easily could be in sydney at the same time. i attempted to get them all in one room, for one hour, for a family portrait. that was two hundred dollars i should have just lit and watched burn- far less difficult or painful. this is not an isolated example.
i'm a whisker away from never trying to organise anything again. all occasions for gathering that require organisation or coordination with family can be done without me- just give me some notice and i'll do my best to be where and when you want me to be. but i'm not picking the place, the time or the activity again. (of course i might reserve my right to veto things on percy's behalf.)

anyways, saturday nites shouldn't be spent being resentful and alone.